My boyfriend took me to
Indomania for my birthday a few months ago, and after my rave reviews, my mom
and sister decided to go there to celebrate their birthdays as well. (They
share a birthday, isn’t that fun?) We spent about five years living in
Indonesia when I was a kid, so any chance we get to have Indonesian food—especially
that I don’t have to cook myself—we jump at. Or at least, I used to jump at it,
before I started eating more consciously. This time, I kind of wanted to run
away from it.
Over the last few days I’ve
found myself trying to come up with excuses not to go with them. I offered to watch my
nephews, I mentioned that the restaurant probably isn’t in my budget this month,
etc., but they insisted they didn’t want to celebrate without me. It didn’t
help that my sister already had a sitter for the boys, or that the second I
mentioned Indomania to my boyfriend, he PayPal-ed me enough money to pay for
everyone’s dinner (because he said I’ve been working really hard and I deserve
it and he didn’t want me to miss out. Isn’t he sweet?? Swoon...)
Yesterday, I realized that my
reservations about going to Indomania have nothing to do with any of the
excuses I’ve given. It’s about one thing: my overwhelming fear of blowing
it. The diet, that is. I know, I know. This isn’t a diet; it’s a lifestyle. BUT. Let’s be real and say
that when a person with an all-or-nothing mentality messes up by even a few
calories, there is a tendency to abandon rational thought, overdramatize the
situation and view it as the Weight-Loss Apocalypse, and as thus, a decree from
the heavens to just go ahead and eat enough for eleven people. (amIright?) When
you couple that with the fact that I’ll be in Celebration Mode (a.k.b.f.p.a. [also
known by fat people as] An Excuse to Eat Lots of Food Mode), my hesitation is not
completely unfounded.
Once I identified the reason
for my irrational fear of the birthday dinner, though, I actually felt better
about going. It’s not super easy to find the calorie content of Indonesian
food, but it’s possible to come pretty close using comparable Thai and Chinese dishes.
And there are some lighter selections that I’d be pretty happy to order as
well. The bottom line: I can do
this. I can choose healthier options, I can take a bite or two of the “evil”
foods I want to try without derailing all my efforts to lose weight, and I can
learn to celebrate occasions, not
food.
Since I am going to be dealing
with events, holidays and celebrations of all kinds for the rest of my life, rather
than running away when they pop up, I need to start facing them head-on, and
learn to fit them seamlessly into a healthy lifestyle. Tonight, I’ll start by
celebrating two of my most favorite people on earth, without using their
birthday as an excuse to harm my body with more food than it needs.
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So… am I the only one who is
terrified by events that center around food? Any tips for staying on track in when
in celebration mode?
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