Good News, Bad News, Bachelorette Finale.

Let’s start with the good news, shall we? I FINALLY STOPPED BLEEDING!!! A few days after my last blog post, the post-op bleeding stopped completely, and I’ve been “normal” ever since. I’m not sure what the blogging equivalent of cartwheels is, but I’m doing them. I can’t even explain what a relief this is. The pathology from the biopsy hasn’t come back, but I’m praying that it’s normal and that in a month or so, my real cycle will return and I can put all this behind me.

Now for the not-so-great news… I had my first gain this past Saturday (my weigh-in day). Instead of moving closer to my goal, I gained a pound back, and am back where I was two weeks ago, at 243. I’m disappointed, but I know it’s my own doing. I used my weekend in the hospital as an excuse to eat French fries and ice cream and not count calories for several days, and it caught up with me. I kind of half-heartedly counted calories last week, and even got on the treadmill, but I guess the naughty indulgences won in the end.

The entire month of July felt a little bit like a bust. I only lost five pounds, as opposed to my 12-pound loss in June. I know that there will be ups and downs, but I can’t help thinking that medicine has something to do with it. I started taking an antidepressant again at the beginning of July, since my anxiety struggles returned, and my weight loss has slowed way down. I am very happy to have those five pounds gone, though. There are worse things than not losing enough—like gaining! I’m glad that despite some of the health challenges I’ve had this month, I still managed to lose. I guess that’s a victory.

Another victory is that I didn’t let my 1-pound weight gain derail my entire goal. Instead, this week I’m back on track with a vengeance. I’m trying to eat a lot cleaner to give my hormones the best chance of coming back into balance, and I’m getting on the treadmill more, because I’m sure exercise will help, too. I’m feeling a little more energetic now that I’m taking iron and not bleeding profusely every day, but I still feel very weak when I get on the treadmill to walk. I’m walking a pathetic 2.8 MPH and lasting only 30 minutes or so, which burns like 150 calories. I hope my energy and endurance will improve as I exercise more and more, because I’d like to restart the Couch to 5K program sometime soon. 

In other news, who watched the million-hour finale of The Bachelorette last night?! I know, I know, the show is pathetic. I usually only watch to practice rolling my eyes for two hours straight, but then, inevitably, I get hooked on the drama and can't stop. I actually really like Chris, the guy Des chose. He was my favorite for most of the season, except for all the times he wrote and/or recited poetry to Des (which was every three seconds, I think). I am just not into poetry and that is the last hobby on earth I'd want in a guy, but hey, to each their own.   

Mmmm, Pizza...

Since I don't have to work on Fridays (best thing in the WORLD, I'm not gonna lie), I wanted to have something fun and figure-friendly for dinner to celebrate the start of my weekend, and to serve as game food for game seven of the NBA finals (Go Heat!). I decided to make some quesadilla pizzas, and was pretty happy with how they turned out.

I bought whole wheat, low carb tortillas because 1) they only have 81 calories each, and most large tortillas have at least 120, 2) I figure the more calories I cut, the more pizza I can eat, and 3) the higher fiber is also nice and filling.

Classico has a new fire-roasted pizza sauce that I decided to try, and I chose store brand 6-cheese Italian shredded cheese since it was BOGO. Aside from being cheap, it also had only 80 calories per 1/3 cup, which is lighter than most shredded cheese. And obviously, the more cheese the better. ;)

I sprayed a half-size baking sheet (one of the perks of owning a dessert company is access to these big, luscious baking sheets) with cooking spray and assembled the pizza/quesadillas. I could have been more creative with the toppings, but olives and baby portabellos sounded good tonight, and I was really hungry, therefore didn't want to take extra time to chop more veggies.

Popped them into the oven at 400 degrees for about 12 minutes and...

It was a very yummy dinner. The pizzas were a little easier to eat folded in half, because of how thin the tortillas were, and that gave it a thicker, more-like-real-pizza bite.

Each quesadilla pizza had just 200 calories--yum!

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Any fun plans for the weekend?

Treadmill!

After my Friday Fail in the run department, I took the rest of the weekend off from exercise (which I’m pretty sure is the opposite of what you’re supposed to do after you don’t succeed at something). I just got it in my head—after nearly dying of heat stroke after my last run—that I really need a treadmill in order to stay consistent with exercise. I scoured Craigslist for listings, and even went to see one that someone was selling for $200, but it was cheaper and smaller than the treadmill I used to have, and walking on it felt like a chore because of the cheap belt. I decided not to buy it.

On Sunday I got together with my parents and my sister and I was talking about treadmills with my mom, and she said she wanted to get one too… so we decided to go halfsies and share one. On a whim, about half hour before closing, we went to Sports Authority to look at their selection, and we found one we loved. It was on sale for $599 but it was one I had read great reviews about and it was more expensive everywhere I’d seen it online. We paid, then prayed it wouldn’t fall out of her little Nissan crossover, and drove it home. I haven’t had a chance to finish putting it together, but I will, and then I’m excited to pick back up on day 3 of the C25K program. Woo!

I know, I know… as my boyfriend told me, most exercise equipment ends up being used as a clothing rack. BUT. I’ve had a treadmill before, and before I started taking medicine, I actually used it and liked it. I even ran on it some. I remember being so proud of myself once that I had run for 15 minutes straight without stopping. The incline on it broke when it was about 5 years old, and then I entered my meds-induced vegetative state, where I had only enough energy to sit on the couch, so I gave it away. I’m pretty confident that this investment is going to be a BIG help in getting off this 95 pounds I need to lose.

In other news, Popeyes fried chicken is not the easiest thing to fit into a healthy lifestyle. My dad wanted it yesterday, and it was Father’s Day, so he got it, but it really messed up my calorie intake for the day. I’m pretty sure I went about 500 calories over what I’m supposed to have to lose weight, but the scale was still down this morning, probably thanks to me taking yesterday off from exercise. Oh, the mind games. Overeat + don’t exercise = lose a pound. Too bad that doesn’t last. ;)

Victory is mine.

My alarm went off at 4:50 AM yesterday and I bounced jubilantly (read: hit snooze, then crawled in slow motion while scowling) out of bed with the energy of Jillian Michaels on crack a dead snail. Once up, I threw on the new workout clothes and warmed up by dancing idiotically to Kanye West in front of my mirror (until I caught a glimpse of myself and how ridiculous I looked, at which point I turned around to face the wall). After the brief warm-up, I did all most of the stretches recommended on the Couch-to-5K website, but not as many reps as they recommended. Still, since I’ve never bothered to stretch before exercise, ever, I was happy with what I did.

I headed outside with my Couch-to-5K app strapped to my arm, and did the entire stinking day one workout. It was pretty simple. First, you warm up with a brisk walk for five minutes. Then the real work begins and you run for 60 seconds, walk for 90 seconds and repeat for 20 minutes before winding down with another 5-minute walk. The app was great because you never have to look at your phone to check the time. There is a little jingly noise and a voice prompt telling you to run, walk, run, walk at the proper times.

I did great for the first interval, but after that, I was tempted to chuck it all and just walk. I mean, seriously, I’m super out of shape and fat, so maybe I’m diving into this running thing a bit early, I reasoned with myself. But then I told myself to shut it, and kept running. I didn’t wanna, I didn’t like it, and I questioned the sanity of my desire to be a runner a few thousand times, but I kept going. I didn’t stop. I pushed through the pain, the breathlessness and the giant blisters forming on the back of my right ankle, and I did  it. Woo!

To an outsider watching, I may have looked like I was hobbling at the pace of an elderly person with hip fractures, but that doesn’t matter. What matters is that I finished. Sure, people who are used to exercise would probably scoff at a “simple” walk/run like the one I did, but to someone who hasn’t run in a minimum of two-and-a-half years, it was tough.

According to C25K, I’m only supposed to run every other day, so I’ll probably walk on my days off. I actually enjoy walking (probably because it’s not running!).

The only thing that suuuuucks about starting to exercise (other than it hurts and it’s not as fun as sleeping in or almost anything else that exists) is the inevitable weight gain. On Sunday morning when I got on the scale, I had lost another pound. Then, after walking Sunday night and running Monday morning, I gained 2. UGH. I know that it is just my muscles holding on to water, and that it doesn’t represent a “real” gain, but this has been one of the reasons over the years that I have chucked exercise—I just seem to lose faster when I’m not doing it. BUT. I know that overall, exercise will speed up the weight loss process and make me look and feel much better than eating right alone, so I’m going to ignore the scale for now (or only weigh in once a week, which is what I should be doing anyway).

One other minor thing that sucks is how nauseated I was after I finished the run. That always seems to happen when I work out my legs, and I've heard it's because the blood flow is concentrated in the legs and less in the head. I took a cold shower to cool off, then laid down on my bed with my legs up the wall to get some blood flow back to my brain, and I felt better after 10 minutes or so. 

So, another small victory is in the bag! Now to repeat this on a regular basis (gulp)… Someone remind me to wear a snugger sports bra.

Progress!

It has been 10 days since I plunged into my new, healthier lifestyle, and already I’ve seen some very encouraging progress. I’m pretty sure this calls for bullet points!

·         I have lost 5 lbs so far (woo!), and am 20 lbs below my highest weight on 1/1/2013.

·         I’m no longer 100 lbs from my goal—"just" 95 to go.

·         I haven’t felt hungry or deprived at all—I feel good about what I’m eating.

·         The ever-present swelling in my feet has gone waaay down (it’s totally gone on the right ankle, and is only slightly swollen on the left).

·         My face is less puffy, and I feel prettier.

·         I can fit into a pair of jeans that I haven’t worn since last September-ish!

·         I actually made it an entire week-and-a-half without giving up and bingeing, which hasn’t happened in a LONG time.

·         I’m down 10 lbs from the last time I saw my manfriend, with 10 weeks left to lose even more.

It’s very easy to get impatient with the pounds when you have a lot to lose, but I feel like I’m doing pretty well taking one day at a time. In the past, if I dieted for more than a week and still didn’t look like Giselle Bundchen, I’d want to give up. Right now, though, I’m enjoying the progress—little things, like the lines below my cheekbones being slightly deeper—and not getting discouraged with the number of pounds left to lose.

I can do this. I am doing this, and I’m enjoying the small victories along the way.

Weight Update

I hopped (OK, gingerly stepped while holding the towel rack for dear life to delay the inevitable as long as possible) onto the scale this morning, and was delighted to see a 1.5 lb weight loss! Since I've only been committed to a healthier lifestyle for 3 days, 1.5 lbs is something to cheer about, especially since losing weight has been very, very difficult for me over the last couple of years.

I feel really good, mentally and physically. It's interesting that it feels so good to be in control of my health, and to be making healthy choices, yet all my life I have been drawn to do the complete opposite. I'll explore that in depth at a later time. For now, I need to decide how to navigate Girls Night tonight--pizza and cocktails--without breaking my SparkPeople app...