Falling off the wagon...

OK, I didn’t actually fall off the wagon. It was more like I politely asked the wagon driver to pull over, gathered my satchel and gloves, hoisted my skirts and stepped down from the wagon to walk behind it for a spell.

After spending nearly a week riddled with anxiety, barely able to choke down 300-500 calories a day, my appetite returned on Friday. I was grateful, because my weight loss came to a screeching halt at 244 while my body held on for dear life to all of its fat cells and water, trying to compensate for what I’m sure it defined as starvation. So when I actually felt hungry again, rather than worry over how many calories I was eating, I simply made the decision to eat what I wanted while I felt like it. I’m sure I could have eaten a bit more healthfully, but I didn’t go overboard or binge.

Today, I have made the decision to get back on the wagon. My appetite is officially back, and I’m taking new medications that can contribute to weight gain, so I need some structure. I actually gained back a pound when I started taking a hormone that is supposed to get my cycle on track, but I’m not going to let that freak me out. I have to get my body back in order, and right now birth control appears to be the best option.

On that note, I am SO SICK of bleeding. It has been almost seven entire months of a non-stop period, and nothing else I’ve tried (losing 28 lbs., taking vitamins, taking pig thyroid, eating healthier) has helped. The progesterone I just took for a week was supposed to make me stop, but instead it tapered only slightly, and over the last few days has caused what looks like the zombie apocalypse, or a Jodi Arias-like crime scene when I wake up in the morning. (I’m not sure I ever mentioned that I tend to over-share… too late to warn you?) I’m pretty sure I need to go buy a box of adult diapers. Desperation is setting in.

I am hopeful that the BC will level out my hormones, and as I continue to lose weight, I can stop taking it. The doc says I should be able to in 3-6 months. In the meantime, I’ve had lots of blood tests and exams to try and narrow down the problem (which I’m pretty sure is my thyroid, but my doctor is old school, so convincing him has been difficult). I’ve heard horror stories of weight gain from birth control, so I’m going to need to keep track of my calorie intake and exercise whenever possible in order to combat the hormones.

So… it’s back to tracking in the SparkPeople app, and now that my bronchitis is gone, I’ll be jumping back on the treadmill. I’m actually very happy about it. As much as I love food and hate exercise, nothing in the world makes me feel as good as I do when I’m in control of my eating and when I’m making myself move.

Happy Monday! J