Tuesday, June 4, 2013

You can’t spell celebrate without e-a-t…

My boyfriend took me to Indomania for my birthday a few months ago, and after my rave reviews, my mom and sister decided to go there to celebrate their birthdays as well. (They share a birthday, isn’t that fun?) We spent about five years living in Indonesia when I was a kid, so any chance we get to have Indonesian food—especially that I don’t have to cook myself—we jump at. Or at least, I used to jump at it, before I started eating more consciously. This time, I kind of wanted to run away from it.

Over the last few days I’ve found myself trying to come up with excuses not to go with them. I offered to watch my nephews, I mentioned that the restaurant probably isn’t in my budget this month, etc., but they insisted they didn’t want to celebrate without me. It didn’t help that my sister already had a sitter for the boys, or that the second I mentioned Indomania to my boyfriend, he PayPal-ed me enough money to pay for everyone’s dinner (because he said I’ve been working really hard and I deserve it and he didn’t want me to miss out. Isn’t he sweet?? Swoon...)

Yesterday, I realized that my reservations about going to Indomania have nothing to do with any of the excuses I’ve given. It’s about one thing: my overwhelming fear of blowing it. The diet, that is. I know, I know. This isn’t a diet; it’s a lifestyle. BUT. Let’s be real and say that when a person with an all-or-nothing mentality messes up by even a few calories, there is a tendency to abandon rational thought, overdramatize the situation and view it as the Weight-Loss Apocalypse, and as thus, a decree from the heavens to just go ahead and eat enough for eleven people. (amIright?) When you couple that with the fact that I’ll be in Celebration Mode (a.k.b.f.p.a. [also known by fat people as] An Excuse to Eat Lots of Food Mode), my hesitation is not completely unfounded.

Once I identified the reason for my irrational fear of the birthday dinner, though, I actually felt better about going. It’s not super easy to find the calorie content of Indonesian food, but it’s possible to come pretty close using comparable Thai and Chinese dishes. And there are some lighter selections that I’d be pretty happy to order as well. The bottom line: I can do this. I can choose healthier options, I can take a bite or two of the “evil” foods I want to try without derailing all my efforts to lose weight, and I can learn to celebrate occasions, not food.

Since I am going to be dealing with events, holidays and celebrations of all kinds for the rest of my life, rather than running away when they pop up, I need to start facing them head-on, and learn to fit them seamlessly into a healthy lifestyle. Tonight, I’ll start by celebrating two of my most favorite people on earth, without using their birthday as an excuse to harm my body with more food than it needs.  
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So… am I the only one who is terrified by events that center around food? Any tips for staying on track in when in celebration mode?

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